Why me?

Yeah, well it happened. I have positivly,absolutly fallen in love with my best guy friend. EDS. God, I still can't spell his name right. Anyways, I am in love with him, some of you know, that I have issues, falling hard, for the guys with asses and pecs=) lo, but he's seriously, extremely..like..words can't even explain, how much he means to me! We know everything about each other, like a brother and sister, ecxpect the fact I like him, now that would be bad. He's so nice, but he likes this other girl and it pisses me off. Because I'll never be anything more to him, then just his little sister. Also, on Wed. in gym, this guy, he's like are you and EDS going out, and I was like no(Killled mmeee) And that we're just friends! Do you know how bbaaddllly that hurts?! And then the kid had to go and make it worse, by saying, you look like you guys are going out!!!!!!!GOD! and it just like..emotionally killed me that day, my friggin birthday! It just upsets me most, because knowing we can never be together, just makes it so much harder to forget him, and make it so much more easy, to love him more. I hate loving him, but yet I love loving him! HELP

....

Is it possible, that the things, you wanted, thirsted, and needed the most, you were never supposed to have? Like Adam and Eve, the forbidden fruit..or was it an apple..? They're both the same thing anyways, so fuck off if you disagree. Well, take this for instance, lets say, you want this really cool new shirt, but your not allowed to have it, due to obscene language written on it. A few months later, turns out shirt, is illegal cotten or something, I don't know, and all wearers and buyers must burn the shirt, so they don't get a skin infection. I don't know, just came up with that on the spot. But, almost everyone has to go through that experiance, that heart breaking time. I've dealt with it several times. But, it just gets harder and harder, to deal with, that weight on my heart,feels, like it's ripping through my entire body, and makes it hard, to be normal again, or as normal as I can get. So here's to letting go.

First off, Anthony James Wallace. I hate to love you. So, you called me all those names, I still liked you. I changed myself completely for you, you ignored me, I still like you. You went out with my best friend from Kidnergarten, I still like you. You moved away to South Carolina, I hated it, but I still like you. You make me laugh, but you also make me cry tears. You make my heart stop when I see you, but you make it cold, when you just walk by and do nothing. I want to be over you so bad, but something keeps pulling me back. So, from now on I'm going to try and just block you out of my mind, you don't exist, you don't need me I don't need you.

I know, you can't reverse time...unless your Tally

I know, lovies, I'm so sorry I haven't updated in forever! Forgive me please! But I had my laptop taken away, once again I'm soo sorry. But anyways not my main reason to being here. Well you know how we all want to erase, that painful memory, that one that strikes us down everytime we get up? We need to realize, that, that memory is the thing that fuels us to get back up again. Don't you agree? Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn(Very good btw) Have all helped me realize that. Well, be the forgetful person that I am, my good friend Kelly, told me in an e-mail once, about a quote from Twilight or New Moon, I forget, But it said, sometime about memories, and even if their painful, you don't want to let them go, because their apart of you, and it would make the pain twice as bad even if you let them go, and I realized it was right, but the only way you could go was foward. You can't erase the past, but instead have to embrace it. I was scared to, until it was holding me back from living life to it's fullest, you only have one, so just bite the bullet and live. It's the best you can do for yourself and others.

I miss you Kelly.

LOLZ!BEST NIGHT EVER!

Ok, well tonight was the best night for me of all summer.One my dad,my sister and I went out to eat.But before that my lil sis totally scratched up my dad's face with her claws,or otherwise hands!Ha he reminds me of scarface <3>!He was HITTING ON MY DAD!omg!that's just my theory though! L0lz though I was totally disappointed,it was still fun. Our food came like an hour late,and I got to listen to a bunch of songs on my sis's ipod.Then the manager, came and took our bill and our waitress didn't hear about a new manager. So then I was all like 'OMG!THAT MANAGER IS A FRAUD!OMG!OUR MOONNNEEYYY!!!!!" lolz then she found the manager and we were saved! lolz then on our way out,I pulled my dad's pants down!!!!Lolz he almost tripped over them!it was h-ilarious!Lolz then my dad and my sis got in the other side of the car,and I was locked out! and then I was latchwed onto the car handle and they started driving,they drove and at an intersection finally decided to let me in!!!!!!Omggggeeee and then I started talking about how all the time's either my dad got his pants pulled down or he was tripped.Now he's coming after me with a Machete....

Pissed off

OK,Well just thinking,What if everyone was meant to be alone?I mean there can't possible be enough people for everyone to have their equal other.I'll probably by the person who winds up alone. Oh well, that's not what I'm pissed about. It's my frenemy's friend. On My Space today she sent me a message saying "Hey Fat Ass" and I sooo do not appreciate that at all.I mean seriously,and honestly,she is no two bit size zero either,even though the way she dresses wants you to think other wise frenemy told her too! I mean it's not like her to say that shit,and it is like my frenenmy to because she's benn bitching on my since the middle of the year! Grrr if she has to say something to me,then why the Hell doesn't she? Is she afraid that I might ruin our prolonged 'friendship' and that means talking smack on each other behind each others backs half the time and sucking up to each other's faces.And I'm tired of it.She thinks her little group of friends is all popular and rule the fucking world,when they haven't even scaled the bottom of it. And half the time they fight over stupid shit,that I can't even fathom the least bit! And what pisses me off the most,is she expects me,to come crawling back to her,every time we have a quarrel! Ohhhh and I almost forgot something else that extremely pisses me off and takes my heart beat off the monitor! The guy I think I might have told you about who lives in SC right now,is coming up here!To stay for a week...or is a month!idk, and idc!He's still COMING here!He's back where he should be,but I know he won't be here forever,all good things have to come to an end one way or another. And the worst part is,I won't be able to see him at all.Zip.Nada. Why? Because he hatteeesss my guts! Shit Monkeys,right?Yep.Oh and I'm also going to miss out on my bbbfferrzz b-day because I might be getting Pink Eye!Yeah we're still going to Hershey on Sunday together!But this is her b-day partay!And she's going to be all alone,and I won't be there to annoy her ='( but on Sunday
I'll make up for all the crazy shit I didn't do lolz,I'm funneh!

My Blog,crappy as it its..

Well I am basically an empty human being at this point. The EX-Love, I never really had him in the first place anyways,is in South Carolina...or is it North?Idk, I miss him terribly.Almost every Thursday night,I cry myself to tears.In the Bathroom where the door is locked and no one can hear,thank goodness.I've even created a MySpace account,just to stay in touch with him,which or monitor him... but he seems completely incomptent to my existance.And I am sooo giving vredit to my bestie Kelly D. She created the account,and without her it wouldn't be possible!So thanks Kelly. And then my frenemy, Maggie just has to create one!!!!Why me?!Does she think that everything I must have she must have?It's so...aggrivating...Oh and my best guy friend,I have fallen madly in love with again.And only Kelly will know that.If anyone else finds out I'm dead shit.Why must I be a sufferer of all things inhuman? I really don't get it.I mean school's out and on to 8th grade,but I feel like I've left something behind,and there's nothing to look foward anymore..